Please, Don’t Think and Drive

So I was thinking and driving. I don’t know what the big deal is, I do it all the time. It’s true, I do get distracted by all the drama and pretty lights created in my alternate universe, but I believe thinking and driving just takes practice. It’s not for everybody, granted, but I don’t have a problem.

It’s typically the moment I arrive at my destination that I slip back into reality and realize little insignificant details, like, the time the place opens. (NO, I didn’t think about THAT, I was busy thinking of something else. Something much COOLER, thank you.) Okay, so I won’t be able to re-checkout a book for my kid at the library this morning, but at least I can return the other overdue ones in the drop box.

Back in the car. Back in my head.

Large vinyl lettering on the library’s glass door stick with me in my mind as I drive away. Soooo… why aren’t weapons allowed to by concealed in the library? Does that mean I can carry my firearm in my hip holster as I peruse the juvenile fiction section, searching for Captain Underpants books? The sign didn’t say weapons weren’t allowed, just not allowed to be concealed. I mean, when stuff jumps off in the stacks I don’t want to have to break out to my whip and grab my gat… that just takes too long man.

Interrupted by wife calling, so I have to explain my library conceal/carry dilemma… which technically shouldn’t be a dilemma because I don’t have a CCW permit or even own a firearm. Yet.

Enter highway towards destination two.

About halfway there something rouses my curiosity in THIS world long enough to make me realize that destination two is not open until later either. Craaaaaap. On to work then.

* * *

Mid-morning, headed to destination three, haircut appointment. Thinking and driving, again. (Oh I’ll think and drive all day long if you’ll let me.)

A large chain hotel sits back off the highway, always seems vacant, grounds eternally unkempt, sign’s been faded for years… of course all this logically leads me into deep thought about the zombie apocalypse. Too many windows in a hotel. But there ARE many floors, and surely zombies are not proficient with stairs and stairwells. Wouldn’t a long, cold winter kill off most zombies? After all, how long CAN they rot before they’re physically unable to pursue flesh. You know what would be an awesome safe-house? A library. Virtually NO windows, and the ones they do have are small. Solid brick all the way around. Plenty to keep you entertained for YEARS. Just need to hole up with a bunch of food supplies. Unknown ailment? Consult a medical book. Unsure how to purify drinking water? Read a book. Spider crawling up the wall? Wack it with a hardback. And so forth. Wouldn’t even have to bother with no carry/conceal permit then, huh?

Arrive at hair appointment, zombie apocalypse safe-house contingency plans mentally drafted, with 2 minutes to spare. See? Thinking and driving just takes practice. Nailed it on the third try.


4 thoughts on “Please, Don’t Think and Drive

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  1. Do you ever get to thinking and driving and have to turn down the radio? Like the weird phenomena of turning the volume down when looking for a street address or name. Silly.

    1. Yes! Too funny D. Indeed I do my friend, indeed I do. Another weird quirk while immersed in thought driving… I will get angrier and angrier and angrier and not know why, until I realize I’ve just accidentally listened to 3/4 of a song I HATE and could have changed the station minutes ago. But that epiphany and subsequent changing of station releases a wonderful wave of negative emotion. Cathartic really.

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